Because of (work eat work) and (eat work eat), I recently dawned upon a huge revelation. Last Saturday, I was all ready to doll up and head to town for a cheerful weekend shopping trip with a very lovely friend. I ransacked my wardrobe and grabbed hold of a dress that used to be my all time favourite. It took me some slight effort to finally pull it down my lower body. When i looked into the mirror, my ass looked like the face of a helpless individual getting squashed in the morning peak-hour train.

Due to this realistic shock, i decided to take things into perspective and accepted that it is high time to start going on a solemn and utterly strict diet.

I thought i made it through by consuming only porridge for lunch. At 4:30pm today, my stomach growled like a hungry tiger trapped in a cave for 30 days ready to attack all living meat on earth. It was a struggle to continuously instill disciplinary dietary messages into my hungry brain. Eventually when i reached home at 8pm, i totally gave up on life. and my ass.

TWO PACKETS OF MAGGIE MEE.

ONE BIG PLATE OF FRIED RICE.

ONE WHOLE PLATE OF STIR-FRIED SCALLOPS WITH VEG.

TWO BOWLS OF CHICKEN SOUP.

THREE CHICKEN WINGS.

ONE PLATE OF STEAMED EGG WITH MINCED PORK.

TWO GLASSES OF WHITE WINE.

Today, my diet officially started. Today, my diet officially ended.

.

.

.

WAS A BLAST.

Hel: So, hows school? Any interesting stories?

10 yrs old brother: You know ar, my school got some girls wear bra eh.

Hel: haha! what's wrong with that? young girls cannot wear bra?

Gossip boy: No. They don't even have neh neh pok one, i think they just wear for fun.

Hel: HAHA! how you know? maybe their neh neh pok is growing already? that's why they need to wear bra?

Gossip boy: No loh. That time i was at the science lab, then there was this girl leaning against the table. When she stand up again, i saw the bra like fold inwards one! hur hur...

Hel: Huh?! so what does that mean?

Gossip: That means inside is actually empty one. She just pretending she got neh neh pok. She trying to act adult.

Hel: HAHAHAHAHA!

So that was what the other boys thought when i wore a bra in primary school.

They think i am just pretending :(

When the whole world is asleep, Haiti woke up to a horrendous nightmare. Humans can't handle such nightmare, maybe not even God. When Si Chuan earthquake happened, numerous charity organizations started funds and drives to pool aids for salvation works. Nevermind the fact that both scenarios are earthquakes, who is there to save Haiti? Sichuan earthquake locked in close to death toll of 12,000. Haiti earthquake already killed more than 200,000. Any intellectually functionable individual can see that Haiti is in need of desperate help. Just because they are a non-Asian country does not justify the lack of attention to provide aid. Just because they are located far far away does not mean that it is out of our scope of concern.

I asked my colleague if he will support a Haiti fund if there is one.

His answer: ' I'm so busy with peak period, you think i still got time to think of giving money ar? Please la, you think everyone is so free like you? '

To this colleague if you are reading my blog: Fuck you, you ignorant spoilt brat. Get over yourself.

There came an earthquake. So melodious it drowned all hopes.

There came a million corpses. So beautiful like poisoned lovers.

There came hysterical cries. So endless like Mississippi river.

There came raining aids. So hampered like kids' stolen candies.

There came disappointments. So feeble and helpless.

Haiti. Cry.

Due to extreme boredom at work, i took a lift and floated into the Watsons downstairs. I saw plentiful of facial masks waving at me. I could just return them graceful smiles since ringworm face does not deserve any form of masking. I saw pink yellow orange golden shampoo bottles in shapes so lovely lining on the shelves. I could just nod and move on since carrying bottles of shampoo back to office makes it stupidly obvious that i went random shopping during office hours. Eventually, i saw chocolates and potato chips lying around like lost sheep waiting to be adopted. I took the liberty to grab hold of a packet of Tao Kai Noi seaweed and sashayed towards the cashier with a grin.

Now, i am munching on my seaweed secretly :)

HELEN. she's a bitch. but a KIND one.








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A Beautiful Mess - Jason Mraz