SLAPPINGsticks

Monday, July 14, 2008

If you do this. i'll bite your head off.

Recent bits and pieces that drove me mad.
1. Dont bitch to me that someone is 'SO ugly' when you are beautifully challenged. your outer shell is already uninviting. so please polish ur decomposing interior instead. though i know its probably very challenging.

2. Talk in extreme softness. i dont major in lip reading. if you fancy an idea. voice it out confidently. its perfectly alright to be wrong. if not. shut ur spineless gap.

3. Stop making raspy moaning noise in the gym. i know you have huge muscles. fullstop. you dont have to ehennn hhaah tzii aarngggg hooooo to highlight their prominence. its just pure irritation.

4. 'oh theres 365.3 calories in this. so im not gonna eat it'. let me tell you. you will still look unappealing without that 365.3 calories. i would rather look at a chubby cheery girl who has 365.3 calories more than you. she's definitely hotter.

5. I can see your armpit hair. you raised your hands more than 8 times. and you have the guts to wear a sleeveless top. you need a mirror badly.

6. Dont talk to me when you're frowning. my forehead will not be smooth either.

7. ' oh ya you still owe me 70 cents right. ' ER. to be precise, throughout our long standing friendship u still owe me like over 70 bucks ? i mean cumulatively. stinginess is the biggest crime in my book.

8. A bbq chicken wing cant be cut into 3 sections cuz' auntie you are too busy? pls get this right. I AM the customer. if i ask u to cut it into 10 pieces. you jolly well do it. If i ask you to tattoo a heart on that chicken wing. you jolly well do it. :)

NOTE: these are real life experiences. dont let me experience them again. i'll strangle.

She slaps at 2:06 PM

The Slapper

HELEN. she's a bitch. but a KIND one.

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