You stuff those ear plugs in. Instantly you turn into a rockstar smashing your guitar and screaming at the rolling crowd beneath. Instantly you see yourself sashaying on a long gorgeous runway clad in total disbelief. Instantly you fly to paradise swimming with fishes and sea anemones. Instantly you turn into the lead actress in a beautiful fairytale galloping with your prince charming on green pasture.

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Now you take those ear plugs out, instantly you turn into another freaking emo kid.

Hel: HELLO! (big wide smile trying to pretend to be friendly as usual )

Irritant: Hi (nonchalant)

Hel: So u're michael's friend?

Irritant: Yes, or else i wouldn't be in his house.

Hel: Oh. thats true. same class?

.

Irritant: Yes.

Hel: Where do you stay?

Irritant: Somewhere far away.

Hel: Oh.i see.

(I thought conversation ended here. but after a lag time of 14 seconds)

Irritant: But someone with common sense will know that somewhere far away still means i stay in singapore.

Hel: wtf? -_-

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I HATE KIDS!!!

Appreciate all your nice little surprises out of space.
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Appreciate your high threshold of tolerance carried out in grace.

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Appreciate your numerous terrorizing acts that i'm forced to embrace.

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Appreciate the extreme transformations you always ace.

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Appreciate the fact that you appreciate my big fat ugly face.

Happy Birthday my boy!!!

I love you :)

I was trying hard to sink into this intense respectable state of acadamic self-help. Even if the library was attacked by lunatics or engulfed by fire, i will not give up my books so very captivating. (If you know what i actually mean :P) I swear i did not intentionally peep at other human beings though i'm slightly pervertic in all aspects. Anyway, while fondling with my lovely notes, i noticed a girl sitting across me. This scene is familiar to everyone i'm sure. Butt cracks saying hello to the beautiful world. I don't usually give a damn about butt cracks cuz they are not porn enough to catch my attention at all. But, her revealed crack was SO GENEROUS that i could almost smell her anus.

Subsequently, i spent the next 3 minutes thinking of whether to stick a pen, a lizard, a chopstick or a cucumber into that butt crack. I should be studying i know :)

One fine morning, i felt sweat droplets on my belly and my armpit hair. The reality of impending exams awoken me. Exams just spells doom for it means:

1) No more drinking.
2) No more clubbing.
3) No more masking.
4) No more nicely painted nails.
5) No more socialising.
6) No more bathing.
7) No more time for self reflection.
8) No more time for gyming.
9) No more terrorizing friends.
10) Very much snacks binge.
11) Very much meat binge.
12) Very much drug consumption.
13) Very much self delusion.
14) Very much emotional attacks.
15) Very much urge to slaughter.
16) Very much confusion.

So, i foresee a hagard flabby crazy looking psychopathic female specie very soon.

By the way, my mum commented i gained weight. ARGH!

The frogs in the pond smirked at me. The birds on the trees sneered at me. The cotton clouds in the sky giggled at me. It is almost like an evil witch casted a damn spell on me. and the spell is called karma. I admit advocating a fun and eventful lifestyle, but least did i expect life to be so wonderous. Because i was a mischevious, impatient and bad kid, i am punished for my delightful sins now. Now i can't even recollect what gave me the courage to come up with the 2 week slave proposal. Nonetheless, i will abide to my promise since i do not wish to tarnish my reputation of being a honorable person. But still, there are rules to all games.

1) Humiliation should not be witnessed by any third party (ie: family members and friends and pets like the cat)

2) No unreasonable commands of any form and shape. (good thing that definition of reasonability lies in my hands :P)

3) No funny blog entry requests.

4) No emotional or physical scarring is allowed.

5) In any event when the feeling of unfairness arise, thou have all rights to defend.

.

Alright. The game starts now. and Hello master eric cheah chun kit.

Episode 1--> I bought a huge carton of pink guava juice from 7/11. sara teo thought i had insane craving for guava consumption at that point of time. but i told her i wanted to bring it home cuz i like to drink guave juice. After a while, i realised the ugly burden of carrying this heavy unfriendly carton in my fragile bag. To dispense the consequenses, i went to the toilet and placed the carton of guava juice, unopened and unviolated, at the top of the toilet seat. And i did it in a self-proclaimed secretive manner. or rather in a high on alcohol manner.

Episode 2 -->

Sara: Lets cheers to something big and we shall finish this glass. Make sure its a good one.

Hel: Ok, like what? Cheers to love, sex and money?

Sara: NO. ohh ohh i have a good one. Lets cheers to good results this semester!

Hel: WTF? who cares about results now! Im not gonna drink to that one.

Sara: Ok, how about cheers to us having nice babies. and if our babies are of different gender, we must make sure they know each other!

Hel: ... huh. ok. CHEERS! :):):)

Episode 3--> I have no fetish for popcorns. I detest anything made of flour cuz i see no point in swallowing the aftermath of white powder. On the cab home, sara teo bought a packet of popcorns and ate it happily. I have no recollections of what i was complaining about. guaguagua. The next thing i knew was that i was intaking a continuous generous handful of popcorns in the midst of grumbling ' i hate popcorns, i hate popcorns, i hate popcorns'.

Episode 4--> If im not wrong, i bought 2 bottles of greentea. The concept and treatment was the same as the guava juice as mentioned above. So i just got enlightenment that i have a weird hobby of buying other forms of liquid materials when i have too much beer intake. Whereever are the greenteas now, i don't know.

Episode 5--> We drank beer at kopitiam. and im proud of that. It was not on purpose, definitely not pre-planned. It was just because other proper decent drinking places were too packed with human nonsense.

Anything can happen when i'm out with sara teo. I would'nt be any surprised if she wants to go tiger hunting someday. I'm all prepared babe :)

I just decided that i am an extremely lucky human creature :)

Location: Ma Maison @ Bugis Junction
Price Range: Slightly pricey. Only slightly.
Description: Old english deco. comfortable dim lighting. chatty dinner crowd but not to the extent of irritaion. floral clothed table top. vintage cafe music. intricate tasty dishes. sincere thoughtful presentation.
Verdict: Definitely worth visiting again.
Escargot baked in butter garlic- This is my virgin escargot experience and i'm glad that its more than just plain tasty. the fragrance of genteel butter garlic bathed the escargot as though they were lovers. i expected it to taste either slimmy or undeservingly tight but im surprised it ended in neither of these two extremes. And i used to think these creatures were too gross for human consumption. Fresh scallops with onions and something else (i'm really bad at remembering names of dishes)- They served it on a cold plate. very thoughtful and nice. So you put the scallops and the other complimenting contents into your mouth. It was orgasmic. If only scallops could talk, i would have made friends with them. Pan fried spaghetti with mushrooms, clams and bacon- I am not exaggerating for this can easily be the best pasta that i have consumed. I never knew spaghetti can taste like this. ever. I confess i was slightly decieved by its plain exterior and thought it was just an ordinary pasta looking wok. I'm sorry to have judged you. The olive oil rubbed against the pasta as if they danced salsa. and professional salsa of course. Even till the last strand of flour based compound, i was still in ecstasy.Beef and mushroom stew with egg rice- Anything with mushroom excites me. especially juicy mushrooms. It just intrigues me to know that food can actually taste like that. Its food like these that makes me feel life again. and im beeming. The chef taught the egg to land itself perfectly on the rice. It was still in a semi cooked form so as to allow the content and fragrance of the egg to mingle with the cooked rice beneath it. well, the gravy where the beef and mushroom sits spells magic.
Food makes me a happy person. Good food makes me extremely gay.

I love my little brother. I love you when you abide to all my irritating commands.
I love my little brother. I love you when you dial my handphone just to ask if you could use my stappler.
I love my little brother. I love you when you refuse to wear the handsome clothes i bought for you.
I love my little brother. I love you when you said i am the prettiest after i forced you to say so.
I love my little brother. I love you when you are the only one who could see i had a hair cut.
I love my little brother. I love you when you told me you once stuck your nose shit onto my bed long time ago.
I love my little brother. I love you when you laugh and i can no longer see the definitions of your eyes.
I love my little brother. I love you when you float into my room every now and then just to make sure i am still alive.

Today, a car knocked you down. Thank god you did not run slightly faster. Thank god your school bag cushioned your head when you hit the ground. Thank god you only had external abrasions. Thank god you could still recite your IC number sensibly. Thank god you are currently sound asleep in your room. Thank god i have tears of gratitude now.

I couldn't locate my mum just now. For a moment, i thought she went down to take a breather. Instead, i found her in my brother's room.

For the first time in 9 years, my mum is sleeping in my brother's room tonight.

Michael Song. I love you. Thank you for coming home :)

It's wierd how i got affected by this lady. I felt unappreciated, overly sensitive and mildly remorseful. The train was not crowded, at least in my own definition. As usual i sat at the corner seat, or if you wish to call it the if you see someone who needs the seat more than you, you scram, seat. Life was initially peaceful and tranquil until this lady clad in baggy dress entered the train. She stood in front of me engaging in a serious conversation with her friend. The selfish jerk beside me closed his eyes immediately. Pretentious little brat. Well, on my part i felt this force of compassion within me. It told me to give up my seat to this pregnant lady. Thus, i stood up with grace and offered my seat with a nice little sweet smile, expecting just a dainty acknowledgement in return. Instead, her faced changed from ugly to uglier. smelly to smellier. black to blacker.

That's when i realised that there's no baby in her, she is just pregnant with lipids. SHIT.

Lesson learnt: Don't ever give up your seat to any huge woman on the train. Just pretend to be in slumberland.

I stared at the pool. Maybe for less than 10 minutes. Yet i know i missed you for a lifetime.

I miss Grandpa.

You held me in your palms.

I don't deserve it.

You smiled at me as if i was the most beautiful sunflower.

I don't look anything like it.

You bought me candies and icecreams.

I never ever appreciated it.

You taught me poems and maths.

I never ever excelled in it.

You sailed back home.

And i never ever visited.

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Ashamed as i might be. I miss Grandpa. very very dearly.

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I know you will never ever read this. But goodnight grandpa.

HELEN. she's a bitch. but a KIND one.


Jing
Jing 2
Geraldine
joelle
Mishie
Xing Yue
Adeline
Ying Ying
Lixian
Meiling
Adriel
Dom
siree
lisa
sing ying


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