Office ladies always look poise and confident strutting down every possible pavement presented before them. No doubt many do display the defiant image of smart-professional-look really well, little did we know how much they struggle to keep that conviction intact. Recently, i was transformed into a office lady and i could not escape the following plagues.

1) Pencil skirts give your ass a big hug everytime you put them on. Never mind the fact that they do accentuate those nice little curves, they can be real bitches at times. Basically there are 3 scenarios. When you put on a M size pencil skirt, it shifts left and right as if it is on a merry go round ride. When you put on a S size pencil skirt, the inner layer shifts up and down and bandage your fat thighs as if you were an Egyptian mummy. When you put on a XS size pencil skirt, you can totally forget about moving at all.

2) One fine day, i was walking my usual way in a pencil skirt. Taking big, generous, busy steps. The next thing i knew, i nearly got stuck in my own steps because my skirt limits the ambitions of my steps and force me to live in a facade of elegance and grace.

3) Heels are a girl's best friend. Heels are also a girl's biggest bitch. At the rate i am going, my feet will not escape the trauma of decomposition and extreme mutation. It is completely normal and forgivable to be walking with grace and confidence in heels while simultaneously muttering fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCKK FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

4) Never ever attempt to bring your new laptops home (esp when the pencil skirts and heels are already driving you up the wall) unless you had enough gym preparations and mental perseverance. I luggaged mine home the other day and i looked like i just ran 2.4km when i reached home.

Good night.

HELEN. she's a bitch. but a KIND one.


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