It took me 1 minute to decide to own this.

.

Online shopping is very very hideous.

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The beloved made me fruit salad and a cup of happy orange juice for breakfast today.

.

.

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RINGWORMS GO AWAY YOU!

The bible says " Too much meat and beer is no good"

The doctor says " You should load up on fruits and vegetables"

MAYBE THATS WHY.

Train rides have never felt so treacherous and draining. I have never gotten so much attention in my life. Unwanted attention to be more exact. For whatever reason, the ringworms that were cured 1 month ago came back to my face for an endearing revisit. Maybe she wants to mark her territory on my face again. No one will look good or the least normal with huge red patches on the cheeks. Not to mention the occassional spur of greenish-yellow pus beneath queuing to explode. I admit i am not emotionally strong enough to deal with such a drastic change in my appearance. It does not feel good to be stared upon when you walk on the street. It does not feel good to have such a low self confidence that you have to back face the crowd during lunch hour.

I do not need a mask to hide behind.

I need some true confidence.

I laid on bed with grandma. I spent about one hour telling her how all her children cherish her, how her daughter/son-in-laws adore her and how her grandchildren respect her.

I want her to know she is very lucky :)

The hospital is a very desolate place.

Nomatter how hard they try to decorate it with creeping flowers, the loneliness cannot be concealed.

My dad arrived in China not long ago.

He has been talking to grandpa by his bed for about an hour. Out of curiosity, i leaned closer to learn about their conversation. Only to realise that my dad has been crapping for the past hour.

Nothing constructive :)

Today is Valentines' Day.

Happy lonely valentine.



I love you :)

' You should not spend all your money, you must learn to save some for emergencies'

I reckon grandpa will freak out if he knows the status of my bank account.

Grandpa's cancer has depleted his body of expulsion function. Today, he voluntarily passed motion. Grandma cleared his waste while praising him for the good job.

My cousin's pastime: Listening to music online

My pastime: Drinking and clubbing

Shame.

I ate cup noodles by the lake outside the hospital.

It is 2 degrees today.

Back here, i have to squeeze in between heaps of human crowd to catch a glimpse of fireworks either during national day or new year.

There lives a tycoon in front of our house. He spent a few millions on fireworks at his backyard for prosperity and feng-shui sake. We sat at our living room, separated by a huge glass window, watching fireworks washing our faces like a massive fountain.

His money well spent. Our eyes well fed.

We have a nice garden at home. Grandma told grandpa that she had already bought flower pots and watered them. He just need to recover and come home to look at those colourful flowers.

Grandpa replied that he will go home soon and make grandma the prettiest garden.

Grandpa's intestine has lost its function of assimilation and digestion. Whenever food is attempted to be consumed, the tube connected to his stomach and kidney will suck out all the contents with no mercy.

When the liquid flows, grandma's tears flows too.

All the nurses went back to celebrate Chinese New Year. My uncle slept on the empty bed beside grandpa for two entire nights in case he needs help.

Because hideous cancer has invaded grandpa's organs, he can no long digest food of any form. When grandma lifted his blanket to show me his legs, he beat her hands off.

He did not want me to see his yellow, scaly legs, reduced only to bones and saggy skins. He wanted to leave a good last impression in me.

In china, Chinese New Year is a huge event. They are blessed with 15 days of leave. Everyone went home to celebrate new year, leaving the hospital cold and eerie. Some recovered, some decided to give up.

Grandpa stayed in this sinister hospital for Chinese New Year because he is not giving up.

He is a fighter.

I sat beside his bed while he finally sleeps.

His snoring sounded like singing.

Priceless :)

For the entire trip, I want to sleep with grandma at night.

She will be happier that way :)

There is a room beside the garden. They used to spend their time playing mahjong, reading books and watching tv dramas. Now that room is as empty as grandma's heart.

Grandma made me spicy wanton soup for breakfast.

It tastes 100 times better than lobster or sharks fin in any form.

I walked into the hospital, with whatever emotions i do not know. When i saw grandpa pinned onto the bed with tubes sticking in and out like devious dragons, i felt daggers piercing me.
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For 30 minutes, i swallowed my tears and chatted with him as if he was lying on a bed at home.

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The sick despise tears, i know.

Grandpa is 72 years old.

He was admitted to the hospital on 21st Oct 2009.

He has cancer.

Tonight, i will travel to China to my grandpa's arms.

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Because he wants to see me for the very last time.

Because of (work eat work) and (eat work eat), I recently dawned upon a huge revelation. Last Saturday, I was all ready to doll up and head to town for a cheerful weekend shopping trip with a very lovely friend. I ransacked my wardrobe and grabbed hold of a dress that used to be my all time favourite. It took me some slight effort to finally pull it down my lower body. When i looked into the mirror, my ass looked like the face of a helpless individual getting squashed in the morning peak-hour train.

Due to this realistic shock, i decided to take things into perspective and accepted that it is high time to start going on a solemn and utterly strict diet.

I thought i made it through by consuming only porridge for lunch. At 4:30pm today, my stomach growled like a hungry tiger trapped in a cave for 30 days ready to attack all living meat on earth. It was a struggle to continuously instill disciplinary dietary messages into my hungry brain. Eventually when i reached home at 8pm, i totally gave up on life. and my ass.

TWO PACKETS OF MAGGIE MEE.

ONE BIG PLATE OF FRIED RICE.

ONE WHOLE PLATE OF STIR-FRIED SCALLOPS WITH VEG.

TWO BOWLS OF CHICKEN SOUP.

THREE CHICKEN WINGS.

ONE PLATE OF STEAMED EGG WITH MINCED PORK.

TWO GLASSES OF WHITE WINE.

Today, my diet officially started. Today, my diet officially ended.

.

.

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WAS A BLAST.

HELEN. she's a bitch. but a KIND one.


Jing
Jing 2
Geraldine
joelle
Mishie
Xing Yue
Adeline
Ying Ying
Lixian
Meiling
Adriel
Dom
siree
lisa
sing ying


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